The coronavirus came barreling into 2020 leaving everyone in the world feeling like they had just been hit by a truck. College students found themselves kicked off campus, employees were told to go home, high school seniors saw prom disappear before their eyes, and health care workers were confronted with long, sleepless shifts. Each of us has been impacted in different ways, but the whole world has felt the virus’s negative impact. Personally, I was sitting in my Wednesday morning STT 442 class when the university wide email began pinging everyone’s phones. My classmates looked at their phones and then each other in disbelief. Starting that day at noon, Michigan State University was transitioning to online classes. Within days, the campus became deserted as students were strongly encouraged to go home. Initially, I was determined to keep up as normal of a schedule as possible. I walked to the library to attend my virtual classes, went to the school’s gym facilities, and worked with one of my classmates, who was still staying in the dorms, on schoolwork. I was sitting in the library when it was announced over the PA system they were closing for the foreseeable future. I was doing chest presses when an employee told all gym goers they were shutting down. I walked to my friend’s dorm for our Thursday morning homework session, only to find they had locked it to non-residents. I wanted some sense of normalcy, but the virus had other ideas. I understand that my experience with coronavirus has been very tame compared with others. Many individuals have not only lost their jobs, but they have lost their loved ones. However, knowing this has not kept me from feeling lost, stressed, and pained.

I am a control freak. Letting go is not something that comes easily to me. I like plans, schedules, and regimens. There is something calming about constructing a to-do list, writing events in my calendar, owning a well-organized planner, among other control freak things. So, when the coronavirus came along and placed all my well thought out plans in the shredder, I panicked a bit. Then I started trying to make new plans, but the virus put up a lot of obstacles to those too. Naturally, without a clear path, I began to feel lost, confused, and a little depressed. I know many people have felt these emotions over the last few months as well, so I thought it might be beneficial to share a thought exercise that has helped me.

Last Sunday, before my pastor began his online sermon, he showed short video clips of church members answering the question, “What would you have missed without the coronavirus?” Many made remarks along the lines of spending time with family, understanding how blessed they were, etc. My favorite responses came from the kids. They said things like, “Pancake breakfasts. Yummm!”, “Playing outside”, “Family Arts & Crafts”, “Board Game Nights”, and “Building Blanket Forts!”. I had been so focused on the things I was missing out on, my internship, Cedar Point visits, spring formal, that I never even gave thought to the opportunities this pandemic has provided me with. I also recognize that with no current concrete destination, I have finally stopped to look around and smell the roses. As someone who is always busy and enjoys being busy, I sometimes miss out on the little joys in life. I decided to reflect on some of the things that I would have missed out on if coronavirus had not happened and encourage you do to the same.

The first opportunity that popped into my mind when brainstorming was the time for personal projects. Specifically, I would not have found the time to work on and develop this website/blog. Not only have I learned, and am continuing to learn about HTML, JavaScript, and CSS, but I have also thoroughly enjoyed doing so. I have never been one of the Computer Science students that worked on projects outside of school or work, mainly because working on those two things leaves me feeling burnt out. Sometimes I reach the point where I no longer feel the enjoyment from the creative/problem-solving aspects of programming. COVID-19 has given me the opportunity to work on personal projects and rediscover why I chose Computer Science as a career in the first place.

The second “corona blessing” that came to mind is the institution of nightly family FaceTime calls. Quarantine has given many families more family time than many have had in years, and although my family remains physically apart, we too are experiencing more of each other. Before the virus, I called my family maybe one a week. They were short catch up calls and I often missed weeks. As the virus situation developed, calls became more frequent as both sides felt the need to update each other on new developments in their location. It got to the point where I would FaceTime with my family every night so we could give each other our updates. When our situations stagnated and we found ourselves under house arrest, we decided to keep up this new daily ritual and it has come to be one of the highlights of my day. Through my adolescence, my family was not the closest knit on the block. We did not really talk about our days, what was on our minds, our opinions, and talking about emotions was definitely off the table. In my later high school years, we began re-evaluating our family dynamics and strengthening our relationships, something I have been super grateful for. These daily FaceTime calls have furthered this growth, bringing us into each other’s day to day lives. For the first time ever, we are regularly relaying our days play by play, discussing the latest thing we read, heard, or watched. I genuinely believe that this habit is going to have a long term, positive effect on our relationships. I will forever appreciate this coronavirus development.

Lastly, the seemingly endless hours of quarantine have allowed me to do a lot of soul searching. I have seen many of my plans disintegrate in front of my eyes. I planned on a paid summer internship. When I lost my internship, I sent out around 15 last-minute applications for other internship positions. I worried about the effect an internless summer would have on my career. How was I supposed to get my foot in the door, do amazing things, wow the world, and then end up the first female president now? While the virus was the instigator of this panic, it has also allowed me to work through it. I tend to forget that there are many things in life that I cannot control. That is not necessarily a bad thing either. Sometimes realizing you are not the sole bearer of responsibility is a relief. I have gotten over the grief and worry of loosing my internship. I have even begun to see the bright side. Instead of driving to Grand Rapids (a 1-hour commute each way) every day for a typical 9-5 job, I get a chance to have one more summer as a kid. My tentative plan for now is to continue to work part-time with the research lab I have been with for the past 2 years, get a normal college kid job (I’m hoping at a golf course so I can get some free golf, human interaction, and much needed sunshine), and just enjoy myself. I want to do plenty of golfing, hiking, gardening (I have started a boxplot garden in my backyard), podcast listening, painting, camping, cooking, baking, the list goes on and on. And if my tentative plans do not work out, then I will let go of that closed door and start searching for the newly opened one.

So to answer my pastors original question, if the coronavirus had not happened, I would not have built this website, I would not get to laugh at my dad’s jokes every day, I would not have learned how to play darts (my mom spontaneously sent me a dartboard), I would not have been able to spend as much time as I have solving puzzles, an activity that I thoroughly enjoy, and I would not have green bean seedlings proudly sprouting from my new garden box plot. Now the cons brought about by coronavirus certainly outnumber the pros, but I think we would be amiss if we denied the existence of any silver linings. So while it is important to not forget the great harm coronavirus is capable of, for the sake of our mental health I encourage everyone to actively search for, and appreciate, its unexpected gifts.